I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
