I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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