Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
only if we run a train.
done.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
