She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
