Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
