what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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