we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
