I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
