i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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