My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
