real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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