Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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