end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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