yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
