Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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