He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
