im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
