I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How external is "for external use only"?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize