So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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