We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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