Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
