weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
