2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
