So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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