I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize