i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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