This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
