You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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