Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
