Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
