i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
