I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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