I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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