question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
