I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
