Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
