is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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