I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
