i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
