Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
