Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
