first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
