Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
