Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
