What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How does one acquire holy water?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
