So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Vodka?
Forever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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