PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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