i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
