nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
