I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
