If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
