just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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