i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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