That's intense
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
