he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
