Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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