I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
