first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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