Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
