In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
