i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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