He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
